Journalism by Jewish college students, for Jewish college students.
As I pack the last box and turn out the lights to the apartment, I feel the tears begin to come. They are tears of anger, and of sadness, and of grief. They are the tears of a young woman who has had to make decisions that no 25-year-old should have to make. At the…
I get a call at 10:12 p.m on Tuesday, October 30th from my dad and my heart sinks. He says: “Zaida died at 10:10 p.m., two minutes ago. You’re the first one I called.” For a second I feel tears come to my eyes, and then a rush of relief. My Zaida was 92, and…
Grammar fact: A semicolon comes at the end of a sentence that could have ended with a period, with finality – but didn’t. Many suicide attempt survivors, including myself, have semicolons tattooed on our bodies to represent that our stories aren’t over yet. Our lives could have ended when we attempted suicide – but didn’t….
I screamed no. I screamed no, and he didn’t listen. He listened when I said yes to going to his room, he listened when I said yes to making out, but when I said no to sex, he didn’t listen. That’s rape. He took away my voice, my choice. He overpowered me, rendering me helpless….
I lie in bed one night praying to God to end my pain. I ask him, “Please either let me die or take this eating disorder away from me.” I was in recovery from my anorexia for about a year and a half. But I unfortunately relapsed and found myself back in treatment. Six months…
Yom Kippur is a day we all associate with asking forgiveness. It is a day when every Jew admits in public that they are not perfect. That they have sinned. We ask God to inscribe us in the Book of Life despite our transgressions. Over the course of twenty-five hours we hit our chests while…
I’m nervous and shaking. My Hillel rabbi, Isabel, has taken me to a grocery store upon my request; I haven’t gone grocery shopping for about three months and it’s vital to my recovery that I have food around the house that I can eat. The grocery store is one of my least favorite places in…
I grew up knowing that one of the most important values is to honor one’s body. I learned that I was made in the image of God and that made my body holy. I have never felt that way, though. I have always felt that my body is disgusting, something to be ashamed of, not…
Shavuot commemorates receiving the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai. It is customarily observed by participating in a night of learning. Since I last wrote, I have relapsed and gone back to residential treatment for anorexia. Going back to treatment for the second time since January took a great deal of courage and taught me a…
…Continued from Anorexia and Shabbat My first Friday out of my first intensive treatment session for anorexia. I’m supposed to be excited to see my friends, relax, and enjoy the free food that Hillel is serving for Shabbat dinner. I know what’s on the menu for the night, and how now much of each food…
Third grade lunch at Solomon Schechter Jewish Day School. All my friends are sitting around eating Cheetos and sharing sandwiches. Me, I’m staring at the clock waiting for the little and the big hand to both land on the twelve so that I can throw the untouched lunch my mother packed me into the trash…