Crossposted and part of a series (I, II, III, IV, V).
I like having a friend who is as excited about Judaism as I am. But I don’t like when it’s in such different ways. For instance, she likes likes hamsas and things that are (supposedly) made with sand from Israel. And I…well, don’t. For another instance, she mentioned to me a winter trip to Israel that a local Hillel was sponsoring, and I thought “Hey, that’s cool and low-key.” Nay, I learned later that it was…
A BIRTHRIGHT trip.
So, at first I was into it, not because I like guided tours, but because maybe if someone came with me it wouldn’t be so bad, and maybe we wouldn’t even have to go on the same type of tour that Sarah Glidden was put through. Also, it would be “free”, though who even knows what that means. And mostly I just wanted to be sociable. How bad could it be?
I think of it like a Timeshare vacation. They drag you around for free, but there’s a more sinister price to pay.
Which sinister prices? These:
1.) I’ve been to elementary school long enough to know that field trips are totally boring when you’re just standing there in a group listening to some barely-audible tour guide talk about the history of some place,
2.) You could probably learn more about the “Real Israel” by going to some café and hanging out with people,
3.) They’ll probably make us wear coordinated clothes, and that’s so embarrassing,
4a.) It would just be awkward in general. I’m not even sure how I feel about Israel. Some days I like it, some days I’m ambivalent, but always I feel like I don’t want to be put through some pre-packaged thing with the primary message being THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO BECAUSE IT’S FUN NOW LIKE IT AND BOND! It would be suffocating.
4b.) Speaking of unlikable atmosphere, I feel like there will be a lot of singing in a circle. Debbie Friedman? “Heal our nefesh, heal us now, heal us now.” I also know from Sarah Glidden that the activities aren’t optional, particularly Yad Vashem. And then after Yad Vashem they were taken to a MALL. A MALL. NO. I think not. Count me out. I was probably more horrified than she was, and I was only reading it second-hand.
5.) The only sponsoring group that would accept me would be a strictly-Reform or strictly-secular one, and that’s just not my speed, man. (See 4b.)
6.) I can’t find a version that doesn’t include extreme hiking. Some people don’t like extreme hiking. Why is the implication that “the Israel that you really need to see” is in the wilderness, and from a bus? It’s like the logical fallacy of thinking that you’ll see the “real America” by driving down I-70 or something in your RV.
More pragmatically, I’ve found out that I need to be saving my money for yeshiva. Not to mention SUMMER CAMP! I’m so much more interested in going to the NHC Institute for a week than on a guided “YOU MUST LIKE THIS FUN!” type of tour. (My sister is the same way. We hate things that are meant to MAKE you have fun. Just cool it.) If I go to Israel, I want it to be for something I’m interested in. Birthright just seems so beer-night “Hey, we’re all Jewish here” generic.
I know there are lots of stories out there about people who had such a great experience and stuff, but I’m of the opinion that I don’t want to be told to like something. “YOU GO TO THAT KOTEL AND YOU LIKE IT!” It’s also why I don’t go to tourist attractions when I go to New York or wherever else. “YOU GO TO THAT STATUE OF LIBERTY! You’ve got to! You’ve just got to! You’re not an American if you don’t!”
I just think if their goal is to make you like Israel and make aliyah and contribute to their workforce or whatever, they should consider adding options that are less X-treme. Not everyone likes hamsas, not everyone likes things that (supposedly) are made with sand form Israel, and not everyone will get into Israel just by seeing its touristy bits.
