I am writing this as we celebrate Yom Kippur, the day of atonement and the end of the High Holidays. After today we will officially be in the New Year. We will have our souls and our bodies cleansed, weightless like the water in which we tossed our bread crumbs only ten days ago. I have felt quite heavy these high holidays, weighed down by a year that had left my people emotionally raw, so as I wait to break my fast I am writing and reflecting. My hope is that if I can leave this year behind me, I can truly flow into the next one, without the weight of all that has happened in a year that has been rife with violence and death. A year in which Jews have seen the world and our community polarized beyond what any of us could have imagined. I am tired. Tired of the fighting, tired of scrolling on my insta and seeing news about new ground invasions in Lebanon and new attacks on synagogues. I am tired of the way in which we have all been asked to pick a side. Tired of flags and barricades. There has already been so much discussion regarding these two sides, in-depth analysis of what they are asking for and where they are coming from. But there is another side. A side looking to move on from this conflict. A side that is searching for peace and knows that to arrive at peace we have to forgive, we have to atone. Atonement means making amends for wrongs that have been committed, and this includes both forgiving and asking for forgiveness.
We are all connected to the conflict that is happening in Israel, Palestine, and Lebanon, whether we like it or not. We are not responsible for the actions of a foreign state, but we have all seen how this conflict has touched our lives in different ways. As a diaspora we have been dragged into this conflict as Netanyahu has cited that this is a war in the name of the Jewish people. Jews from all over the world have been pulled into this conflict. We have become the biggest geopolitical talking point of the year. More impactful than opinion pieces or statistical jumps, this all-encompassing implication of the Jewish people has created divisions within our own communities, within our own families, our friendships. This was felt as students across the world no longer felt safe on their campuses, as they protested and began to draw lines in the sand between themselves, their classmates, and their administrators. This was felt as children parried with parents or grandparents, as families held arguments that ended in the excommunication of a cousin, uncle or child. Friends who could no longer find common ground and so now no longer stand on the same ground at all. This has led so many of us to feel the conflict in a much more personal way. Which means that we must look back in the coming weeks and reflect as we are asked to through Tashlich, and Yom Kippur. If we do not reflect now we will move into this New Year in the same murky waters that we have been swimming in for months.
Our community desperately needs to look back. We have had the entirety of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Hazikaron, to remember. To think about everything that has happened this year surrounding the Israel Palestine conflict. Think about those that have lost their lives, those that have lost their loved ones, those who have lost their homes, and so much more. Now on Yom Kippur, we have another day to look back on all those conversations, debates, and arguments that we have been a part of or a witness to. Have I said anything that was without empathy, that was raw and unfiltered? Yes, I made comments about people in my hometown and their stances on the conflict that took no consideration of where their families live. I told my brother to not talk to them just because of what they posted on instagram. Have you thrown someone out of your life for the stance that they have taken? I did, I have been included on a family email chain sent by one of my uncles for as long as I could remember. I have always found it cute but annoying. Until this year where I became more and more enraged by being subject to his opinions on the conflict until I decided that I could no longer take it. I had not spoken to him until Rosh Hashanah only a week ago. Did you dive deeper into your own echo chamber of social media, opinions and news? I definitely did, unfollowing people that did not share my values without a second thought. I found myself receiving only the points of views that I agreed with. We need to not shy away from the truth from fear of judgment from ourselves or others. Because in the end it is each of us who needs to be able to let go of the last year, of the hurt and pain. To toss our sins into the depths and move cleanly into the year.
How do we move into the future? What does it mean to cast our wrongs into the current? What does it mean to atone? Atonement means that we must not only ask for forgiveness for what we have done wrong, but that we be willing to open ourselves up to forgiving others. After a year, I have begun to read testimony from the other side of the political aisle. To attempt to understand what they are saying and feeling after months of only listening to my side. I reached out to that Uncle. I emailed him back on that same email chain. We caught up about life, not the conflict but each other. He sent me an e-card for the High Holidays. I have begun to open myself up to forgiveness on a wider scale. I will ask for forgiveness for all of those that have been involved directly with the conflict. There will be no end to this conflict if we cannot forgive, from the martyr to the soldier. No matter the side that someone is on, they deserve our forgiveness. If we choose to only forgive one individual over another then the cycle of violence will not end. We cannot decide that one person deserves absolution and another does not, this only serves to create animosity that will sit within our people or theres for the future. A future where the conflict continues. The only way to come to peace is for all the hate to be washed away. Enough is enough. To truly call for an end to violence, we must call for the fighting to stop from every side. Neither can be blamed. This starts with ceding our anger, and eventually letting our resentment, frustration, and intolerance go. Go with the waters of the New Year.
There has been enough suffering in the last year. The only scenario that could make this conflict more unthinkable would be its continuation. To have a ceasefire, to reach a peace agreement, and to move on to an unknowable future, we must be willing to forgive for what has happened. If we cannot embrace the teachings of the high holidays then we will stay in this circle of violence until only G-d knows when. We cannot wait for an end to the conflict. We must choose to end the conflict. I was asked today if I really believe that this will work. If forgiveness can end a conflict that has surged to such an omnipresent scale. I do. If we all choose to move into this new year with forgiveness, then there will be no base for this violence to build upon. Yes, each of us is small in the grand scheme of things, but if these governments and politicians no longer have a base that is supporting their actions, that is willing to share a seat at a table and discuss our future under tenants of peace then there is no conflict left. This means accepting what has been done. We do not have to be in agreement nor happy with what has passed, but we must be willing to say that each individual will be judged for what they have done, by G-d and by history. Forgive, so the spiral of polarization does not rip our world from its axis. Forgive, so the third side of compassion, accountability, and humanity can disrupt our ever cloistered conversations. Forgive, so that we can let the waves wash away everything that has been hurled at our neighbors in the name of hate.
