In June 2023, New Voices published a series of micro-stories about “Queer Jewish Joy”. As hostility toward trans and queer people persists across the country, we can derive strength from the moments that remind us how beautiful it is to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. As we continue to fight for justice, stories of queer love, laughter, friendship, celebration, spirituality, and chosen family are as important as ever.
today was the first day of pride month and i wish audrey were here to see it.
pride is also grief and it is also mourning and that is okay. i will make space for loss and that is also pride.
i am having trouble existing in this apartment complex knowing audrey isn’t here anymore. but i am blessed, too, because audrey is always here.
i went to a beach yesterday because i could not cry in my apartment any longer. it felt like walking on top of precious things i shouldn’t.
the water was like a mikveh: it was uncharacteristically clear. i thought of my conversations with audrey about judaism. i thought of audrey’s spirit and how she did not see death as the end. i saw audrey in the hermit crab scuttling slow enough for me to pick up. and i felt her in the fish that crowded at my feet. they darted too quickly for me to grasp.
i am starting to see audrey in everything beautiful. in her friends, in the water.
i lost audrey, but everything she touched is coming together in a perfect circle. so in some sense, i didn’t lose her.
i will text my queer friends. i will blast my music with the windows down in montrose. i will try to feed my spirit and the spirits of others. i will honor her in pride, in solidarity, in labor and in love.
