I’d like to preface this story by saying that for as long as I can remember, Crane Lake Camp has been a progressive camp that highly values kindness and equality, and in my experience, that’s exactly what the camp community has been –– most of the time. But as with any other community, it’s not perfect, and sometimes those imperfections are what we remember and learn from the most.
When I was a camper, my bunk was made up of a group of strong and empowered young women. We were the bunk that pushed the camp director to approve the rule that female-presenting campers should be allowed to take off our shirts during sports activities just like the boys were, provided the weather was hot enough and we were wearing sports bras.
So during a co-ed evening unit program, when a couple of sports staff put together an elaborate slide show with all of the boys’ faces photoshopped onto football jerseys to reveal teams for the boys’ football game, but did nothing but say “bunk 14, wear blue and bunk 16, wear white for your softball game” for the girls, we were pretty upset.
We knew we deserved the same attention as the boys did under any circumstance. Why didn’t we get an elaborate slideshow for our softball teams? Why did we have to play softball while the boys played football?
We wanted to rebel, and we knew our counselors felt our pain, but it was their job to keep us under control. So we did what we did best –– we united. We wrote “UCG” on our arms for “Upper Chaverim Girls” (our unit) and wore black to the softball game.
Fast forward four years and I’m a counselor for a bunk of wacky, lovable eleven year-old girls. Trump is president, and girls everywhere are hyper aware of the rampant sexism that still persists in our country. So when my campers had an eerily similar experience as I did as a camper, I wasn’t nearly as shocked as I was upset.
The Bonim boys had won the annual Fight Song competition, and my Bonim girls were happy for their male counterparts. One evening, all of the Bonim campers were gathered in the Beit’am (central building) when they were told by camp leadership to get cozy because it was time for a Spiderman movie night.
Everyone was happy, until about five minutes into the movie when our bunk was told that we had to leave because this movie night was actually just a special treat for the boys. My campers would have been fine with that, had they not been there with all their friends to watch it happen and then be humiliated.
When we got back to the bunk, my girls were furious. Some of them even cried. They felt like embarrassed –– even neglected. While the boys got their special movie night and might not have even noticed how hurt their female friends were, my girls were stuck feeling exactly as I had felt during the football-softball incident of 2015.
My campers asked me to do something. Of course I wanted to give the camp leadership a piece of my mind, and to an extent, I did. My co-counselors and I brought up the night’s events with our unit head, a woman herself, who of course hadn’t intended for the boys’ movie night to turn into a hurtful incident for my campers. But I realized that these kinds of things, this sexism, no matter how big or small, would probably keep happening no matter what I did.
As female counselors, my friends and I have often felt that we have had to work twice as hard to earn the respect that our male co-workers receive from campers and staff alike. While I wish that my campers won’t have to feel that way by the time they become counselors, I know it is very possible that they will. So I realized that the most important thing I could do in that moment was talk to my girls about the importance of unification.
I told my campers my story. They listened, and then they talked to each other. I talked to camp leadership about why my girls were hurting. They listened, and then with the help of our unit head, my co-counselors and I arranged a special night for our girls in the bunk filled with arts and crafts and dancing.
While it was absolutely valid for me, and then my campers, to feel angry when these sexist events occurred, it was even more important for us to stand together and empower each other in our journeys as young women.
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