Annie Schauer’s boyfriend, Brandon LaMotte, 21, recently delivered a gift to her house in Maryland: a purple orchid in a little pot, a pack of Smarties, and a card.
The two did not hug, touch, or even talk. They waved to each other from a distance. Schauer, 20, also had to wipe down her gifts as soon as she brought them inside. In fact, the two of them haven’t been in physical contact with each other for over 70 days.
Colleges and universities closing due to the COVID-19 pandemic have sent students back home, often to far-flung states and countries. Due to the coronavirus, thousands of students across the nation are separated from their partners and have to navigate the difficulties and uncertainties of long-distance relationships for the first time.
“You don’t want to have to see your partner like that and…not know when those circumstances are going to end,” said Schauer, who met her boyfriend at a Dungeons & Dragons club game night at Montgomery College.
The last time Schauer and her boyfriend saw each other was before a genetics class, which they take together. Before class could begin, the two received a text from the College that everything would be shut down.
“Brandon and I hugged for the last time,” Schauer said. “I didn’t know it would be the last time. I thought I would see him honestly the next week.”
Now, the two communicate through video calls almost every night. They watch movies, starting at the same time from different locations.
“That did put a strain on our relationship for a bit,” Schauer said. “Communication has definitely changed in a way that we’re more patient and listening.”
Other couples have found similar routes to staying close.
“We’ve been FaceTiming basically every day, but it’s starting to get really hard,” said Veronica Tribuzio, a freshman at the University of Albany.
Tribuzio, 18, and her boyfriend, Eric Riemer, who is 19 and also attends the University of Albany, met in August of 2019 before the start of school. The two both attended the University of Albany’s band camp with plans of joining the marching band – Tribuzio for color guard and Riemer for drumline.
While the couple hasn’t been able to see each other in person, they have been able to check in with each other and play games, like Club Penguin, online.
“We have a lot of shows we watch together. We text each other after watching to discuss,” Tribuzio said. “We’ve both been keeping up with each other.”
Isabel Anderson, 22, and her boyfriend, 21, call every night and sometimes play Magic: The Gathering Arena, a free, digital card game. The two met at the University of Rochester when they ended up living in the same suite during the fall 2018 semester.
Anderson is currently living in Massachusetts, and her boyfriend is in Vermont. She recommends that other couples do something other than “just talk about the pandemic” during calls. She has been mountain biking more often now, which lends a topic the two can discuss.
“We went from practically living together and cuddling every night to not seeing each other,” Anderson said.
For couples who are separated by time zones, communication becomes even more difficult.
“I live in the Chicago area and he lives in Orange County, California, so time zones make things difficult especially because I go to sleep early,” said Audrey Moos, a freshman at Northeastern University. “I would say try to establish some sort of routine in terms of setting a time to talk everyday so that you can keep in touch and also find things that you can do together online that you both enjoy.”
Moos and her boyfriend had only been dating for three weeks before leaving campus. They’ve missed out on in-person dates, but Moos said that hasn’t stopped the couple from getting closer. They watch shows together now or play games online, in addition to Skyping.
“Make time for each other,” Schauer, the Montgomery College student, said. “Understand that if your partner is abnormally rude to you, it’s not necessarily your fault or their fault. It’s because of the situation.”
While states apart isn’t the preferred distance for many couples, for the time being, it seems like it will have to be the norm.
“I really miss the personal interaction I had with him,” Schauer said. “Things aren’t perfect, and this situation has been very hard on everyone…In regards to relationships, I say take it one day at a time.”
Featured image credit: Pixabay.com/Free-Photos.
