Last year, one of the clubs that I am a part of in school decided to hold a “Smashing the Patriarchy” workshop, to work on our group’s internal dynamics. To my mind, this was completely unnecessary. The group governed by consensus, and we were roughly half male and half female. It seemed to me that at meetings, a few women would always contribute. So what was the issue?
However, in the months following that long and awkward conversation about patriarchy and oppression, I realized something—a few women had been consistently volunteering opinions at meetings. But just a handful. Sure, there were guys who consistently spoke, but almost every male who came to meetings would speak at least once. This was not true of the ladies. As well, some of the dudes in question seemed to consistently shoot down comments offered by women, and listened more respectfully to ideas that the men in the group put forward. But I had never noticed.
“The Patriarchy” (a scary, rant-worthy word) is so much a part of the fabric of our society that, as with consumerism, most of the time its very existence flies beneath our collective radar. And although recently it has come into the public eye (via social networking and sources like Salon and Jezebel) how the patriarchical framework of our society controls women’s bodies, we don’t often hear about how it steals women’s voices.
Consider this—in a large lecture class, who usually asks questions? In small discussion settings, who usually speaks? It is usually people who identify as male, though of course there are outliers. However, this is at odds with the fact that there are more women currently enrolled in the US colleges than men.
Recognizing these dynamics at play is not meant to villanize people who identify as male, but rather recognize that there are social feedback mechanisms in place that allow males to feel more comfortable volunteering opinions and leading discussions than women. It is the same as checking privilege with respect to race. We, as Jewish college students, have a tremendous amount of privilege, that has more than likely helped us to get to where we are today as students. Most of us are white, middle class, and come from a culture that places emphasis (and then some) on education and literacy. This isn’t to say that we don’t deserve to study in great schools, but the idea that you got in solely because you are an individual, brilliant snowflake is a fallacy.
The same is true of gender. It’s not that males don’t have a right to participate in discussion and occupy positions of leadership within their schools, but it’s important to recognize that there are reasons that men may find it easier and more natural to occupy these spaces than women. Most of our government is made up of men, most C.E.O.’s worldwide are men, and assertiveness is generally more respected and expected in men, and respectfulness more expected and respected in women.
With this in mind, rest assured that this is not a hopeless fight. If we as students and community members can deal with these underlying dynamics with honesty and openness, then we can begin to change them. Within the group I mentioned previously, things have taken a definite turn for the better. We have more female leaders within the group, and more balanced discussions. Though these conversations are hard, the result means a stronger community.
Jesse L. Baum is a student at the University of Vermont.
