This article is the sixth in the series “Procrastination HaYom”– a week-long series of funny videos, websites, articles, and pictures that will do nothing to help you get that A, but everything to help keep you sane during finals time.
It’s Chanukah, that wonderfully spiritual season of freaking out about what to get everyone who we think might be getting us something. We all have that one person in our lives who is just impossible to shop for. They either have everything already or just don’t really want anything. Those people kind of suck. But now there’s a solution, and it’s not gaudy Chanukah clothing. (Or a tie. Because let’s face it, how many times can you get your dad a tie before it starts getting embarrassing?)
So, for that special person in your life: Golden poop. Or, to be more specific, pills made from gold that will make their poop gold. And all for the affordable price of $425. Sound absurd? The creators think so, too: “Analogous to our culture’s obsession with luxury and consumption, these 24K gold leaf capsules turn your innermost parts into chambers of wealth.” So it’s all just a statement on our money-obsessed culture. Or is it?
According to the art designer’s website, CITIZEN:citizen, the item is temporarily unavailable. As in, people are actually buying this. As in, there are people out there who wish to shit gold, and not just figuratively. As in, there’s someone, somewhere, right now, peering into their toilet bowls for a glimpse of their gold-flecked turds. (Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “gold-digger,” doesn’t it?)
Not expensive enough for your loved one? Artist Terence Koh once sold his own gold-plated feces for $500,000. He might be talked into doing it again.
