Because they really stick to their guns.
Yes, this is coming from someone who advocated for school uniforms in sixth grade.
But my point is cogent. It’s not all pluralistic free-for-all “As long as you’re not naked”. It’s akin to not letting shoeless guys in, either. As much as it’s what’s on the inside that counts, you’ve still got to have some semblance of rules, and then stick to them.
A similar situation happened in my Judaism class. The rabbi was talking about how it’s hard being a Conservative rabbi because the rabbi doesn’t look like the congregants, unlike in other denominations wherein the rabbi and the laity have generally equal observance levels. He asked if we would be OK with him hypothetically driving to shul on Shabbat because technically in the Conservative movement you can. Almost everyone said they would be A-OK with that, except for me and this one other guy. The rabbi made a good point, though—do you maintain the very minimum, if people would accept it just as well? Someone made the comment that “Not everyone would like it” if he drove—as if these hypothetical people were the ones in the wrong. Quite often, people accept the very minimum, believing that to do otherwise is being very judgmental.
But I disagree. If the rabbi started driving, I wouldn’t feel so bad about having to drive—consciously or not. The same goes for other things. He says plain broccoli isn’t kosher, so now I say plain broccoli isn’t kosher. He says Asher Yatzar (I think I caught him once, it was exhilarating), so now I’ve decided it must not be that weird to say Asher Yatzar. Aside from the rabbi being my ethical role model, it illustrates a broader point. You are influenced by those around you. There is a point where it gets out of hand, but to say that we all ought to do exactly what we want without any regard isn’t realistic, I think.
There are safeguards in Judaism addressing exactly this—you shouldn’t walk into a McDonald’s or some similar place, for example, even if you’re not going to buy anything, because then people might see you walking in and start thinking that if it’s OK for you, it’s OK for them.
“They ought to trust me!” you think, but in the heat of the moment, that’s not always sufficient. And you know what? It shouldn’t become normal for Jews to walk into Bacon-R-Us all day long. Sometimes it’s not all about your immediate wants—sometimes you’re the one responsible for upholding the values of Judaism, in a world where it really kind of matters.
I admit that I’ve checked YU’s website for other little rules like these. I like that I wouldn’t have to worry about being sexiled from my dorm when my roommate has a boyfriend over—because men aren’t allowed in the first place. I like that their dorms are communally “Shabbat-observant”. Lots of people, since we live in America and everything, might counter: “Well, I ought to be able to decide to myself! I hold the power!” But remember, what happens around you influences you. And what you do influences other people. Who knows? You might be someone’s ethical role model, too. And I’d already signed up for these rules long ago—I’m not “offended” to be “made” to be Shabbat-observant, for example. I’d find it freeing after a year in a house where Shabbat is extremely, extremely voluntary. And when it’s voluntary, it’s much more difficult.
The guy who interviewed me told me that “the dorms are Shabbat-observant”, as if asking me if I was prepared for that leap in my life. I wanted to spring up and say, “Yes! Yes! I NEED Shabbat-observant dorms! I WANT your rules! I love your mezuzot on every door and being expected to know what the Hebrew says on all your signs! My mind is already a giant yeshiva, saturated with Judaism all day and night, just like your curriculum! Why wouldn’t I want Shabbat-observant dorms?!”
