Crossposted to The Reform Schuckle
I’ve been bemoaning my singleness a lot lately. People keep telling me to try online stuff, but it seems odd to do online dating while in college. Now, however, I’m taking the plunge.
I went on JDate a few minutes ago to see what’s what. I clicked on “BROWSE FOR FREE,” and here’s what happened.
So JDate predicted that I’m a straight male. Does it assume everyone’s a straight male? What about people who want to identify as something other than a [Man/Woman] seeking a [Man/Woman]?
Are there actually people who look for a “Friend” here? Is “Friend” a codeword for something? What activities might one engage in with an “Activity Partner?”
These kashrut options seem limited. Where’s eco-kashrut? Why is kashrut a matter of degrees?
How do I indicate which of these things I care about? I drink regularly with friends but I don’t care how often my potential match drinks. I don’t smoke and I care a lot about whether she does. And I care some, but not a whole lot, about whether she keeps kosher. I wish there were a marker like “Indicate how strongly you feel about X, by choosing a number 1-5.'”
If I’m graduating in May, how misleading is it to claim that I have a BA?
This list of possibilities is outrageously limiting. It assumes that all Jews are either Ashkenazi or Sephardic or don’t really care. Most Jews in America are Ashkenazi-descended and if you add Sephardic that takes care of almost everyone. But it doesn’t account for all Jews by birth.
What about converts? Am I “Mixed Ethnic” because one of my parents converted and the other is Ashkenazi? Or did she become Ashkenazi when she converted (whatever that would even mean!)?
Does this imply that Jews want to date only Jews from a similar background?
I have settled on “Will tell you later” as a way of protesting this question.
This stuff is important to me, so I’d like to indicate it with accuracy, although this question seems to be about current practice, not background. “Baal Teshuva” isn’t a background at all. It’s a conscious choice that one might make after childhood.
As with the ethnicity question, anyone outside of these options is forced to pick “Another Stream of Judaism.” This is the more appropriate place for Sephardic to be, given that these denominations are outgrowths of the Ashkenazi sphere.
This is a troubling question. I’m waffling back and forth about selecting Reform or “Another Stream.” I call myself Reform, but most wouldn’t look at my observance and call it Reform.
I want there to be an “Other” box that gives me space to type some extra words. Where’s the “Will tell you later” here?
I’ll take the question literally and pick Reform.
What about people who go more frequently than “Every Shabbat?”
I haven’t had a username for something since the last time I used AIM, which was probably in eighth grade. I also don’t know how to “pop.”
This part is completely nerve-wracking. There are two kinds of people I’m writing for:
1). There are people who would read an accurate description of my personality and think, “This guy sounds like an asshole” or “This dude sounds boring,” but who would actually like me if they met me.
2). There are people — fewer than there are in group 1— who would read an accurate description of my personality and actually be interested.
The question is how to craft a description that plays to both of these groups of people, both of which I’m interested in. This has become intense.
OK, after an hour and help from three housemates later, I’ve written something.
Now I’m gonna think about whether this is worth spending any real money on.
