Your Mileage May Vary: Shabbat Observance

Obviously, judging from the posting date/time on this, you’re going to see I’ve got just a few issues to deal with regarding the above topic. But I promised you uncomfortable food for thought, so I’m out on the net with the rest of the folks who are up at 9:00 (PST) 12:00 (EST) and for my buddies in England (Dan, I’m looking at you) a good old 5:00 am Saturday (BST). I’ve got work to do, homework to tend to, and pre-runway shenanigans to take care of. Saturday I have a three hour minimum trip to a salon planned, as prep for the runway show I’m in on Monday, as ordered by the style team. So of course the night before that, I’m looking for my heels, trying to complete a history assignment, zero out some e-mail in boxes, and get some writing done. One of the Rabbis I have adored in all my life has been on my mind, and a conversation we had years ago is something I wanted to share. Rabbi Yossi Zylberberg explained to me once when I was younger that sometimes, we do things we don’t want to do. We work on Shabbat. We run a load of laundry instead of letting it slide. We do homework. We go somewhere, and maybe it could have waited. But what I took away from the conversation that day was that those actions teach us things.

Where are we, right now in our lives, in regards to our observance? Do we want to change it? Because change in observance is possible, and these moments are an opportunity to dialogue with ourselves, and to learn about where we are, what we need. I know I preferred a life for years, where I did my best to observe Shabbat how I could. When I didn’t travel on Shabbat, do laundry, or clean. When I lit candles every week, made challah, and never forgot to sing prayers. I don’t know where I want my observance to go, right now, but I’m trying to address that with myself. I’m also not the only one dealing with this.

Many of my friends struggle with observance right now, and as one of the only ones to have a synagogue membership, I can say we’re all grappling with this right now, whether or not we belong to temple. What work we’re willing to do—whether it’s housework or for employment—and, hilariously, America’s Next Top Model is what brought all this recent self-questioning to the forefront for me. Esther Petrack, a Modern Orthodox contestant on this Cycle, forewent Sabbath observance to do the show. Not everyone’s balancing school and modeling, and when I go to bed tonight, I’ll be thinking about the grind this weekend, salon, photographers, runway, homework, interviews for my internship to get done.

It’s the only time I’ll have to ask myself, “Is this where I want myself to be, in relation to Shabbat?”

Before you turn off the light tonight—or tomorrow, or later today, in some cases..take a moment to think about it. Shabbat, school, life.

Is this where you want to be?