Anything ending in the suffix “ILF†can’t be good. When the latest version of the sexual phenomenon that expressed just whom the public would like to have sex with next came out, though, I was surprised. The newest “ILF†category is Jews: more specifically, Jewish women.
I’ve long heard that Jewish women are whiny, kvetching about every last thing, eat too much, and do everything in the manner of Fran Drescher in The Nanny. While I do love a good knish, by no means do I have a nasal voice the octave of an opera singer or down every brownie in sight (well, the last one is up to debate). It’s time to start looking at Jewish women in their own right, as both female individuals and as part of their larger faith. How are we perceived by the media? How should we be perceived by the media? I decided to take a look at one recent example from a magazine.
What does it mean to be a JILF (short for “Jew I’d Like to”…well, you fill in the blank)? Details magazine laid down the ground rules for how to date one in its “Dating and Cheating†section.†As a young Jewish woman, I find that disgusting. I understand the comedic aspect of it, yes—the “Let’s play on Jewish female stereotypes thing and make an article out of it” could appeal to some markets. All the same, why should approaching a Jewish girl be radically different from approaching a girl of any other faith? There are differences, to be sure, but approaching a woman with respect and consideration goes without saying for any individual.
The sheer crassness of the cheating mention aside, let’s take a look at the stereotypes put out by Details. The first thing that caught my eye was the “expert†that they consulted. Sure, this might not be a serious guide to dating a Jewish girl, but they couldn’t do any better than a porn star? Really? “Joanna Angel,†an adult film star, spoke to Details about how to snag a JILF. If the magazine was going to go in a sexual route, I think Dr. Ruth would have been both a more appropriate and funnier expert to consult: after all, she is the resident Jewish sexpert.
Anyway, what does Details advise men to do to get the girl? One tip is not to be a born-again Christian. Angel told the magazine, “I had a friend who was one in college, and I couldn’t really take her seriously.†Well, shame on her for not encouraging inter-religious dialogue. If she was uncomfortable with her friend talking about Jesus as the savior, then she shouldn’t have just refused to take that girl seriously, but started a dialogue of her own or simply asked her friend to be quiet.
Other things she recommends to a guy looking to date a Jewish girl is that he be courteous of her mother, eat on dates, and spoil her a little. I don’t think that’s specific to Jews at all; what woman doesn’t like being treated nicely? Some of the “don’t†list includes making jokes about Jews being cheap. That’s one thing I can agree on: though everyone makes that crack from time to time, it can get old and offensive.
The article talks how to score a JILF, but also didn’t get voices from real Jewish women. The only one they consulted was a porn star, and that is hardly indicative of the Jewish population as a whole. If they wanted advice on how to date real women, they should have asked real women. I do agree with many of the points made in the article, but respect and courtesy should be taken for granted and should not just be for Jews. I say the magazine should be more concerned about promoting healthy relationships than anything else. Note to the magazine staff: find a good, helpful general picture and then add in the details.
