So here’s the thing. I tend to think of myself as a traditional kind of girl. I like ritual and history and tradition, which is one of the reasons that Judaism appeals to me. I also love Judaica–putting up a pretty mezuzah, having a collection of Star of David pendants, and of course, my notorious book shelf. So naturally, IÂ I have toyed with the idea for a long time, trying to convince myself, but there’s something about it that just seems unnatural. That’s not to say, of course, that I have anything against those women who choose to don a yarmulke–I admire their ability to own the custom for themselves. I just can’t be one of them.
It has nothing to do with the biblical notion that men can’t wear women’s clothing and women can’t wear men’s. That restriction doesn’t phase me. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having some things specific to males and other specific to females. Should we all be equal? Absolutely–in terms of salary, respect and the ability to handle most tasks. But there’s no denying that men and women are different, and that’s okay.
On the other hand, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with women wearing tallit, and I believe all Jewish women should have the opportunity to celebrate bat mitzvah, to count in a minyan, and to serve as cantors and rabbis if that’s where their life aspirations take them. But that doesn’t mean a kippah must be part of the equation. Can’t we exhibit our Jewishness in other ways?
Truthfully, the she-kippah just looks weird to me. I suppose kippot are kind of funny-looking accessories to begin with, but they fit well on the heads of most men I’ve seen wearing them. A woman in a hat can be simply stunning, and I really admire the way many women are able to don flattering head coverings, like the gorgeous scarves that I wish I could pull off. But kippot just don’t seem to be one of those flattering accessories. It’s not anti-feminist, it’s just aesthetically awkward.
Maybe this is how people felt when women first started wearing pants. Maybe I will eventually get over it. But for now, I’d like to stick to the beautiful colored scarves and the fancy floppy-brimmed hats to cover my head, and leave the kippah-wearing to our male friends. And I’d like to do so without being labeled as an anti-feminist.
