This winter break, I headed back to Wisconsin to see my family and to spend time with my best friend, who had returned from studying abroad. And when I got home, I realized that to me, time in Wisconsin means back to spiritual routine. On Friday night, I light candles and have Shabbat dinner with my best friend. Saturday morning, we head to services. We stay for Kiddush, then spend the afternoon relaxing, until my mother tells us it’s time for “DJ Chicken and Carrot Stuff” – the traditional meal she serves when we are there. Then we get ready for Havdallah. We go on with our week, and then we do it all over again the next weekend – and every weekend thereafter until I return to Minnesota for another semester of school.
All this got me to thinking…am I a part-time Jew? Is Wisconsin my Jewish home and Minnesota otherwise? I am Jewish by birth. While I was a Wisconsinite, I went through the religious school process, from Aleph-Bet class through Bat Mitzvah and confirmation. I taught religious school and was a B’nai Mitzvah tutor. I dragged my father to Shabbat morning services. During the period in which the synagogue was without rabbi or spiritual leader, I, with the aid of some of the older and much more knowledgeable members, conducted Shabbat services. I was Super Jew.
But then I graduated from high school and moved to Minnesota – and with it, began a whole new lifestyle. Freshman year, I quickly became involved with Hillel, attending the bi-weekly Kabbalat Shabbat services, Shabbat dinners, and other Hillel events. During my sophomore and junior years, I taught religious school in a suburb of Minneapolis. But this year I am doing neither. Instead, I joined Friends of Israel and began writing and editing for New Voices. I still take an occasional Jewish Studies course. But despite my previously impeccable Shabbat track record, I now find myself rarely participating in one. The spiritual connection to my Jewish identity is surprisingly missing.
After much deliberation, I decided that, even if such a rumored character does exist, I am not a part-time Jew. I am a Jew who adapts to her lifestyle and surroundings, which prove instrumental in shaping a Jew’s identity. At school, I may act less Jewish than I do when home, but that’s OK. When in Minnesota I am still the same Jew I am when in Wisconsin. It’s not that I am forgetting about my Jewishness; rather, I am participating in different aspects of my religion. At home, my spiritual side is stronger, while at school I’m involved in mostly culturally Jewish activities. So really, it’s not as if I am acting less Jewish – I am simply acting less religious.
But that spirituality, that religiousness, is still missing. In May, when I walk across the stage and turn my tassel, I will begin another stage of my Jewish life. In that world, the next chapter in my book, the spiritual side of my Jewish identity will makes its return – but this time, I will merge the two sides of my Judaism. The spiritual/religious side will make its return and the cultural side will remain. Such a combination is sure to make the next chapter of my book more complete, bringing back what I grew up to love and believe in. The merge ahead is an exciting one, and I cannot wait for it to begin.
