Satan had boasted of his powers, mocking Joseph’s piety. But this did not anger Rabbi Joseph Della Reina.1 Joseph was a wise man, a saint.
“The word of God has more strength than any of your tricks,” he replied. Satan roared with laughter, licks of flame flickering in his mouth.
“A challenge!” he cried. “I will prove to you how powerful I am.” And with that, Satan brought his fist down on the table. The morning light flowing through the window was instantly extinguished and Joseph’s study cast into darkness.
“Hardly an original feat,” said Joseph. He muttered an incantation and the tip of his finger began to glow, illuminating the disappointed scowl on Satan’s face. “Haven’t you read the Second Book of Moses?”
Satan growled. He grabbed Joseph by the collar and leapt into the air. Joseph had only a moment to snatch his book of Kabbalah from the table before they burst through the roof of his study and began soaring towards the clouds. Soon, they came to a range of high mountains. Satan flew to the tallest peak and tapped it with his nail. In a flash, the mountain turned to dust.
“Very impressive,” said Joseph, once they were safely on the ground. “Perhaps you are as great as God.” Satan smirked with pleasure. “But,” Joseph went on, “You will never be as small.” Satan was puzzled. He asked Joseph what he meant.
“God is in all things. He can fit anywhere, a power you cannot match.” “Why,” said Joseph, opening his Kabbalah, “God can even fit into this book I hold in my hand.”
At these words, Satan became enraged. “Child’s play!” he bellowed. And before Joseph’s eyes, he shrunk himself to the size of a parashah and dove headlong into the open book. “You see how small I am,” said Satan, chuckling as he leaned against a column of Hebrew text. Joseph smiled. Then he began to recite Aramaic–the words of an ancient enchantment known only to the wisest of rabbis.
Suddenly, the letters on the page began to converge on Satan. A wrapped itself around his neck, ‘s cuffed his hands and shackled his feet, and rows of interlocking ‘s formed between them like chains.
“Treachery!” Satan shrieked as Joseph closed the book, shutting him up in his leather-bound cage….
The pocket watch trilled. Rabbi Weiss picked it up from his desk. “Already?” he asked aloud, inspecting the clock face. “Sorry boys, looks like we’re out of time.” Reluctantly, the yeshiva buchers packed up their pencil cases and filed out of the classroom. Tam–a handsome youth of seventeen (2)–followed the others into the lunchroom, still lost in the story as he munched on one of his mother’s homemade latkes.
“Those look good, Tam,” came a sneering voice from a nearby table. “I think you should give me one.” It was Nasty Nachum Noodlebaum, the snottiest brat in all of Scepter Heights. Each day, Nasty devised some new way of torturing Tam. But Tam dared not refuse him. For Nasty’s father was the richest merchant in the neighborhood and his money paid for Tam’s scholarship. Without a word, he handed over his one remaining latke.
“Oh, silly me. It’s your last one,” said Nasty. “You should have it.” He took the latke in his palm and mashed it into Tam’s face. The other boys all doubled over with laughter as the oil dripped down his cheeks.
It was too much for Tam. Before he could stop himself, his hand flew and struck Nasty Nachum’s hat clear off his head. This was foolish. For Nasty always kept the two largest boys in school by his side–loyal servants as big as gorillas. Tam had no choice but to run. He fled down the hall and through the school’s front gate.
Tam ran as fast as his legs could carry him. His tzit-tzit flew out behind him as he sprinted. Only when he reached the corner of Johnson and Robert did he dare look over his shoulder, his legs still pumping their hardest. But just then his foot caught a snag. He tripped and tumbled into the gutter.
“My apologies, young man.” The voice belonged to an Israeli. Tam looked up to see an elegant man dressed in a long black coat, with a neatly manicured goatee. “I really must be more careful with my cane.” The man held a black walking stick in his hand, topped with a large cut diamond. He motioned to someone beside him and Tam suddenly felt a crushing grip on his shoulder as he was pulled to his feet.
Tam found himself standing in front of a curly-haired fellow in a tracksuit. He was short, but Tam could tell he was immensely strong. His arms were nearly bursting through his track-suit jacket. The man in the coat stood next to him, tall and gaunt.
“Allow us to introduce ourselves,” said the man in the coat. “My name is Shai Tannenbaum and this is my associate Malki Zedek.” Tam felt the urge to giggle at Malki’s girlish name, but thought better of it when he saw the gun tucked into his waistband. (3)
“I insist that you allow me to pay your laundry bill,” Tannenbaum went on. Tam looked down at his soiled clothes, then back in the direction of his yeshiva.
“Would you mind walking me home instead?”
“We will do both!” said Tannenbaum, grinning.
As they made their way to Tam’s house, Tam explained why he had been running, and told his new companions of his misfortunes. His father had died the day before his Bar Mitzvah, leaving wife and son destitute. To make ends meet, he had to help his poor widowed mother in their dingy little wig shop, leaving him almost no time for study. So it was that he was considered a bungler at Yeshiva. The rich students looked down on him for his poverty. And the clever students laughed at him for his ignorance.
“It sounds to me like you have a cash-flow problem,” said Tannenbaum. “We might be able to help you with that.” They stopped in front of Tam’s house. “How would you like to transport some valuables for me(4) from far away, in Amsterdam (5)? If you brought them to me here, I would pay you handsomely.” Then Tannenbaum bent to whisper a sum in Tam’s ear.(6) Tam’s eyes opened wide.
Tannenbaum drew back. He buttoned his coat against the cold. “If you can convince some friends to go with you and carry back more, I will pay you an even greater amount.”(7) Tam stood awestruck at his good fortune. “Take the night to think about it,” said Tannenbaum. “If your answer is yes, meet me at noon tomorrow at Fleishig’s Deli. I will have everything ready.”
Tam rushed to the house of his neighbors, the Zilbers. Nudnik and Shlemiel Zilber had been his best friends since they were children. And as for their lovely sister Zelda, well\xe2\x80\xa6.Tam liked her too. Nudnik and Shlemiel were as loyal and honest as any man could be. But they weren’t quite considered yeshiva material.
“Hmm,” said Nudnik after Tam had put his proposition to them.
“Ah, yes\xe2\x80\xa6.” Shlemiel joined in, knotting his brows in deep contemplation. The brothers began to rub their foreheads–a sign that they were thinking hard. Nudnik believed his brain had to be warm to think at its best. So he switched his skullcap for a woollier one.
As the brothers considered the matter, Zelda pulled Tam aside. “This is madness,” she told him. “How do you know you’re not falling in with evil men?” But Tam would not be swayed. “I can handle myself,” he replied, his voice rising. “If this is the devil’s work, I will subdue him like Rabbi Joseph Della Reina. I will tame him to do my will.” Zelda shrunk back in fear.
“I have it!” Shlemiel cried, after a very long time. “We will let the dreidel decide.”
“Of course, the dreidel,” said Nudnik, his forehead red as a stop light.
Shlemiel pulled a little copper dreidel from his pocket. “If it falls right, we go with Tam. If it falls left, we go to Amsterdam,” he declared, ready to spin.
“You mean right we go with Tam. Left we won’t not go to Amsterdam,” corrected Nudnik.
“Of course that’s what I mean,” said Shlemiel sternly. He spun the dreidel.
“Left,” Nudnik called out. “We won’t not go.”
“So you’re coming then?” Tam asked, a little confused.
\t
“The dreidel has spoken,” said Shlemiel.
Tam, Shlemiel, and Nudnik arrived in Amsterdam famished. They had left in such haste that they forgot even to order kosher meals for their flight. Following Tannenbaum’s instructions they took a cab to a houseboat on Van Gochmora Street.
“Shlemiel,” Nudnik said to his brother as Tam knocked on the door, “What if these people only speak Dutch? How will we make ourselves understood?”
“We will use sign language,” answered Shlemiel.
“But what if they can hear?” asked Nudnik. At this, Shlemiel was stumped.
A thick-necked Israeli answered the door and greeted them in Hebrew.(8) The brothers sighed with relief. “We have come for Mr. Tannenbaum’s valuables,” said Tam. The man nodded and led the three to an empty bedroom. He pushed the bed aside and pulled opened a hidden compartment in the floor. Inside were thick packets full of little pink pills. Each pill was decorated with a smiley face or a cartoon character. Some pills were even stamped with the Star of David.(9)
“I have never seen such amazing jewels,” said Nudnik.(10)
Tam and the brothers set to work. They packed the pills into their bags and jackets. They lined their hats with them and poured them into empty mezuzahs.(11) Once they were finished, they made straight for the airport. Tannenbaum had insisted they return immediately. And so they left without sampling the famous delights of Amsterdam.
“What a pity,” said Tam. “We’ll have to see the Rembrandt Museum another time.”
All went smoothly at the airport until Nudnik set off the metal detectors. Tam’s heart froze. Nudnik insisted he had no metal but the alarm kept sounding. The customs agents were ready to search him. Then Nudnik pulled the little copper dreidel from his pocket. “Silly me,” he said. “It must be this country. In my own I am very clever.”
The next day Shai Tannenbaum and Malki Zedek came to the Zilbers’ house. They were pleased with Tam’s work. “Thank you, my boy. You’ve been most helpful,” said Tannenbaum, stuffing a wad of bills into Tam’s coat pocket. “I hope we can do this again.”
\t
That night, when Tam’s mother came home to find him counting hundred-dollar bills on the kitchen table, she fainted right in the doorway. “Mama, wake up,” said Tam, kneeling over her. “I have a present for you.” The next morning, Tam’s mother strode to work in a great fur coat.
Over the weeks and months, Tam and the brothers made many trips to Amsterdam. Now they could buy the finest hats and talises. Their pillows grew fat and their mattresses rose higher and higher. At every opportunity, Nudnik and Shlemiel ate piles of blintzes with sour cream. They drank gallons of tea with strawberry jam. Zelda grew ever more worried. But she loved Tam and did not want to spoil his new happiness.
A year and a day after that fateful trip into the gutter, Tam and the brothers returned from yet another trip to Amsterdam. Only this time, Tam had bought Zelda a dazzling diamond engagement ring. Tam left the brothers and the pills in his new apartment and made his way to the Zilbers’ home.
When Tam proposed, Zelda was overjoyed. She accepted on only one condition–that the trip from which he had just returned be his last. Tam agreed. He had tired of his travels. And with Zelda by his side, he needed nothing more.
Meanwhile, at Tam’s apartment, Shlemiel and Nudnik began to converse:
“Nudnik,” said Shlemiel. “A suspicion has been growing in me that these little round gems we have been ferrying are not gems after all.”
“I also have this suspicion, Shlemiel.”
“But what else could be so valuable?”
“Only blintzes.” The brothers rubbed their heads as hard as they could. Only after a long silence did it come to them.
“Perhaps they are blintzes!” cried Nudnik.
“It must be!” cried Shlemiel.
“Yes,” replied Nudnik, “special miniature blintzes. I want to try them. Give me some.”
\t
“But you must pay first,” said Shlemiel. Nudnik saw that Shlemiel was right. So he handed him a $100 bill and swallowed a handful of pills.
Within minutes, Nudnik had Shlemiel locked in a bear hug.
“I feel wonderful!” said Nudnik. (12)
“I want to feel wonderful too,” said Shlemiel, barely able to breathe.
“Give me some.”
“But you must pay,” said Nudnik, releasing Shlemiel.
“You are right,” said Shlemiel and handed Nudnik the same $100 bill.
Tam had never been happier. He had spent the entire day arm in arm with Zelda, bringing the glad tidings to all their relatives. When he entered his apartment to find Nudnik and Shlemiel on the floor, hugging each other and grinning from ear to ear, he could only assume that someone had told them the good news.
“My friends,” said Tam. “To see you so happy for me makes me ecstatic. But we must attend to business. Tannenbaum will be here soon to pick up his delivery.”
“Delivery?” Nudnik replied. “The delivery is gone.”(13) Tam was thunderstruck. He quickly grasped the truth. But before he could speak, a knock came at the door.
“It’s open,” Shlemiel called out between giggles. Shai Tannenbaum and Malki Zedik walked in. Tannenbaum glanced around the room. He peered at the brothers on the floor.
“Where are my valuables?” he snapped. Tam’s voice stuck in his throat.
“We sold them all,” Nudnik replied.
\t
“You sold them?” Tannenbaum said, his voice rising with anger. \t\t
“Who did you sell them to?”
“Each other,” said Nudnik and Shlemiel proudly.
Tannenbaum and Malki Zedek drew their guns at the same instant. Malki Zedek pulled a .45 from his jacket and a .38 from his waistband, training a barrel at each brother’s head. They stopped giggling. Tannenbaum had his pistol pressed up under Tam’s chin.
“Are you trying to make a fool of me?” he screamed. “Give me my valuables, thief!”
Tam heard the gun go off. This surprised him. He’d always been told that a bullet traveled faster than sound. He was even more surprised to find that he was still alive. The gun had never been fired. What he had heard was the sound of the police bursting through his door. Now he was face-down on the floor like all the others, a knee in his back as the cops cuffed him. They had been under surveillance for months. The police had even put a listening device in his menorah.(14)
Three days after Tam’s sentencing, Rabbi Weiss came to visit him. Tam and the brothers had each been sentenced to two years hard labor.(15) Zelda and his mother burst into tears when they led him away. Shai Tannenbaum and Malki Zedek faced life sentences. They had posted bail and disappeared.
Tam was happy to see the Rabbi’s gentle face on the other side of the glass. They picked up the black phone receivers to speak over the intercom.
“Why are you here Tam? How did it come to this?”
“Rabbi, I thought I was in control. I thought I could be like Joseph Della Reina and keep Satan in my grasp.” Rabbi Weiss chuckled.
\t”My boy, you are no Joseph Della Reina. And even he could not keep Satan in chains.” Tam was puzzled. Rabbi Weiss pulled out his pocket watch.
“You never heard the end of my story. That should teach you never to miss class. But we have a little time. I will finish it for you now\xe2\x80\xa6.”
\xe2\x80\xa6.Satan tried flattery. He offered Joseph bribes–eternal life, riches upon riches. But Rabbi Joseph would not be corrupted. Nevertheless, he took pity on Satan, who cried and bemoaned his fate. Satan begged for a crust of bread or a glass of water.
“At the very least,” he said plaintively, “You would not deny me a pinch of snuff.”
Being a gentleman as well as a saint, Joseph could not turn down this request. But when Joseph gave him the snuff, Satan broke into hellish laughter. Sparks shot from his nostrils as the grains of snuff ignited, and a blast of hot cinders hit Rabbi Joseph’s eyes, blinding him forever. The inky chains melted and crumpled from Satan’s body, and he flew away with an army of 10,000 demons to far-off Mount Sair, where the dark powers hold sway.
FOOTNOTES FOR THE LESSON
(1) Joseph Della Reina was a famed 15th Century Spanish Kabbalist, reputed to have snared the devil.
(2) The yeshiva students who inspired this story were all around the age of eighteen when they started to commit their crimes.
(3) Smuggling ecstasy is the Israeli mob’s main industry in the United States. According to the Forward, Israelis control 75 percent of the American market for the drug. Court records are rife with names of Israeli smugglers such as Yakov “The Dog” Elchik, Jacob “Koki” Orgad, and Mahir “The Rabbi” Reiss.
(4) “Nobody suspects nice Jewish kids [of] being dope smugglers,” a former NYPD detective told Moment Magazine, “especially Orthodox Jews.” Presumably this was Israeli dealer Sean Erez’ rationale for enticing Shimon Levita–son of a prominent Bobover Hasid–to work as an ecstasy courier. In 1999, Erez approached Levita while the yeshiva student was still living with his parents in their Boro Park home and convinced him to become a smuggler.
According to Moment, many Israeli drug rings began to infiltrate yeshivas and rabbinical seminaries at around the same time. “The reason it got started was because the screeners never imagined they should look out for these kids,” says former United States Attorney Alan Vinegrad. In the closeted Orthodox communities of Brooklyn, recruiters found gullible youngsters who looked innocent enough to pass through customs undetected.
(5)Amsterdam serves as a hub for the Israeli-controlled global ecstasy trade. For years, traffickers from Israel moved stolen diamonds through the city, where they took advantage of large Israeli expatriate communities. When ecstasy became popular, reliable smuggling networks were already in place.
(6)According to various reports, Hasidic couriers received approximately $1,500 for their trouble. “They got involved because of the excitement and the idea that they can make money easily,” says Vinegrad. Rabbi Moshe Kwalbrun, a chaplain at Rikers Island who counseled many one-time couriers, said that the Haredim most likely to be tempted by drug money were those “who are not good students, who just don’t fit in.”
(7)According to the Forward, a joint federal-state organized crime-drug enforcement task force that investigated the Erez-Levita ring found that the young Hassids were paid a $200 finder’s fee for bringing a friend into the operation.
(8) Israelis produce much of their ecstasy in the Netherlands, where the pill-making technology and the chemicals required to make the drug are easy to find. Labs can be found inside trucks and floating barges, or in basements underneath factories. A single lab can manufacture some 100,000 tablets in just a few days.
(9)According to the Associated Press, many of the ecstasy pills seized from Haredi couriers bore Superman insignias and other logos. “Ecstasy” is the street name for Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA), a synthetic psychoactive drug with stimulant and hallucinogenic properties. MDMA was first synthesized in 1912 by a German company as an appetite suppressant. The United States banned the drug in 1985.
Ecstasy is perhaps the most popular party drug in the world, taken mostly at raves–all-night dance parties that require the kind of stamina it provides. Dealers sell the pills to users for $25 to $40. But the pills themselves cost only a few cents to produce. With a $100,000 investment, an organized crime group can make millions in a matter of days.
(10) Many of the Haredi couriers initially thought they would be smuggling diamonds, not drugs. Few seem to have been discouraged from making further trips once they discovered the truth.
(11) According to The Guardian, Erez had his couriers transport ecstasy pills under their hats and next to their prayer books. One Hasid was traveling with $460,000 worth sewn into his garments when he was arrested–about 30,000 to 45,000 pills. According to DEA reports, this was the average amount couriers brought into the United States on each trip.
(12) Ecstasy “produces intense euphoria,” according to Professor Bruce Goldberger of the University of Florida. “It releases inhibitions and in some people produces hallucinations.”
(13) The actual effect of ingesting an entire smuggler’s load of ecstasy would most likely be death. Along with seizures and intense paranoia, ecstasy overdose causes hyperthermia–a condition in which body temperature increases rapidly. Users’ temperatures have been known to “boil up,” as Goldberger describes it, reaching as high as 107 degrees–“which is not compatible with life.”
(14) After several of his fellow couriers were arrested, Levita fled to Amsterdam where he himself was arrested on June 21, 1999 on drug-conspiracy charges. In July 2001, after months of surveillance and undercover work, a DEA task force busted a major Israeli-Haredi ecstasy ring, seizing 2 million pills.
(15) Levita faced up to 15 1/2 years in prison, but was given a relatively lenient term of 2 1/2 years in federal custody. “I was raised in a real Orthodox religious home,” Levita told the court, pleading for understanding. “I didn’t know what drugs were.”
