“In every generation let each one feel as if he or she came forth out of Egypt.”
As a devoted Jew it pains me to say so, but the Passover Seder makes no sense. The main purpose of the Seder, as I’ve always understood it, is to recall what it was like to have been slaves in Egypt so that we can refine our moral sensibilities and appreciate the freedom God has bestowed upon us. And how do we go about accomplishing this noble goal of recollection? We sip wine, set up a plate with a shankbone for all to see, and sing about a baby goat being eaten by a cat. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy singing about a baby goat being eaten by a cat. In fact, I’ve long advocated introducing “Had Gad Ya” into the daily Mincha service. But is this really the best way to rekindle the hardships of slavery? I think not.
Fortunately, for those Jews interested in knowing what it was really like for our enslaved ancestors, I have a plan: Camp Pesach, a week-long reenactment of the Israelites’ last days in Egypt, set in the Utah desert and complete with brutal whipping, pyramid building, and a desperate race to the Great Salt Lake. The idea might sound far-fetched, but historical reenactments are actually quite popular in this country. Civil War battles take place all the time in Georgia. At the Plymouth Plantation in Massachusetts, tourists can walk through a colonial town and chat with the settlers as they chop wood and sew bonnets. Camp Pesach could be on the cutting edge of this exciting trend!
Here’s how I envision Camp Pesach working: Upon arriving at the Salt Lake City airport, all campers will trade in their clothes for torn rags and straw sandals. (Orthodox women will be provided with ankle-length rags.) Then, after being driven to the campsite in rolling cages attached to horse-drawn chariots (or, as the case may be, Jeep Cherokees), the campers will immediately begin brick-making and pyramid construction. Egyptian guards (or, as the case may be, Mormons in ancient Egyptian headdresses) will whip the campers as they struggle to stack the bricks under the boiling sun. In the afternoon, campers will have a short break to rest and make cell phone calls. At the end of each day, the campers will be given canteens of locust shells and bacteria-filled water from a nearby river and then be sent to sleep in mud huts. The Egyptians will return to slightly nicer huts where they will experience a horrible new plague each night.
The pyramid construction will go on every day of camp except for the fourth, which will be a break for an Israelites vs. Egyptians Maccabiah. On a dramatic last afternoon, the actor playing Moses will shout to the campers that it is time to liberate themselves from the bonds of the oppressors. Immediately, the campers will return to their huts to gather their belongings, bake bread for the journey, and steal the gold and silver of the Egyptians. Once the gold and silver has been collected and sold at a nearby pawn shop, Moses will announce that there is no time left to bake bread. The campers will grab their unleavened dough and their cell phones and race away from Camp Pesach to the Great Salt Lake.
After the campers take a healthy lead, the Egyptians will pursue them in their Jeep Cherokees. Upon arriving at the lake, Moses will lift his rod and hopefully the lake will part and allow the campers to pass. Should this fail to happen, Moses will announce that camp is now over and remind participants to please be sure to sign the Camp Pesach e-mail list so that they can be kept up-to-date on next year’s camp. The women will then begin to dance with timbrels as the Mormons and the Jews hold hands and sing “Had Gad Ya.” Indeed, some scholars now believe that this is how the original flight from Egypt ended.
Camp Pesach may not be for everyone. Elderly Jews may not be up for the whippings and some children might be averse to eating locust shells. But if you really want to fulfill the mitzvot of Pesach this year, it’s time to put down your shank bone and head to Utah. (I’m sorry, I’ve just always wanted to write that last sentence.)
