| Guide to the Perplexing |
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| Written by New Voices | |||||
| Wednesday, 29 September 2004 | |||||
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Menschwear, Fight Grub, Leveling the Praying Field, Sex and the Sinai Menschwear Secular silhouettes are so last season. That’s why we suggest you run, not walk, to your nearest sample sale: the fall, 2004 menswear collection from wunderkind British designer Alexander McQueen is hitting stores right now. And according to McQueen, whose media epithet is generally “bad boy” (he invented “bumster” jeans–think hipster, but lower), the hottest look for men this fall is…Hasidic. Well, almost: McQueen’s new line features slender male models in black slacks, white shirts, black ties, and frock coats. And a frock coat, for those not in the know, is a long jacket with a squared-off hem–much like those worn by Hasidim the world over. Coincidence? Not quite. Taking his cue from Jean-Paul Gaultier, whose 1993 men’s collection included black coats, fur hats, and tzitzit-esque shirttails, McQueen has turned the fashion world’s attention to a look long favored by the post-yeshiva crowd that was waiting to make the leap from mincha to Madison Avenue. Although McQueen credits the Antwerp Orthodox community with inspiring his collection, the unofficial ultra-Orthodox uniform varies little from country to country. This means that haredim everywhere can hold their haute heads high, flush with the knowledge that they are truly hipper-than-thou, effortlessly embodying the source of McQueen’s union of avant-garde fashion and cultural stereotypes (gals, stay tuned: couture sheitls can’t be far behind). McQueen doesn’t quite have the devotion of a ba’al t’shuvah: he’s edited the black hat and peyos from his runway version. Of course, there’s nothing to stop a creative-minded pseudo-Hasid from making the look his own. All it takes is a visit to your local milliner and a few months of forelock cultivation. And if you’re not up for dropping a couple grand on a knee-length blazer inspired by what Hint magazine calls the “seductively formal” stylings of the ultra-Orthodox, you can just head to Crown Heights and walk away with the real thing for less–and maybe a shidduch in the bargain. –Helen Rosner Fight Grub For the uninitiated, a bowl of matzoh ball soup is comfort food. But for Don Lerman, matzoh ball soup is but one battlefield in a war that requires guts, stamina, and technique. Yes, Lerman is no lay-consumer of the doughy orbs; rather, he is a champion in the under-celebrated world of competitive eating. According to the International Federation of Competitive Eating–the sport’s official hub for organization and arbitration–gurgitating for glory is an ancient, time-honored practice. And the sport is now experiencing a renaissance: new championships for the ingestion of hamburgers, pickles, and matzoh balls–not to mention butter, fried asparagus, and cow brains –are being cooked up every year. As Lerman explained to the Jewish Week, the art of ingestion requires strategy and gastronomic flexibility. Before consuming a meal, the chomping champion mentally divides it into scoffable segments. He cuts matzoh balls into quarters, dunks hot dog buns in water, and tears burgers into pieces–all proven time-lowering techniques. Lerman also trains diligently, honing his stomach strength, scoffing speed, and swallowing strategy at buffets across Long Island. Indeed, speed-eating has become a highly competitive sport, celebrated most widely at the two Olympic events of serious scoffers: the Philadelphia Wing Bowl and the Nathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest. And not only do kosher competitions dominate the speed-eating agenda, but according to experts, Jews are also leaders in the field. “Jews are very competitive, but they are not jocks,” speed-eating champ Leon Feingold told the Jewish Week. “So many turned to competitive eating.” Feingold speculates that Jewish mothers’ insistence on plate-cleaning leads to better consumption skills among Jewish youth. Add that to the traditional Jewish penchant for family meals, and every Jewish child stands a chance at a gold medal in guzzling. New Voices would like to advocate higher standing for the sport of competitive eating. We envision a golden age for Jewish competitive-eating jocks: Hebrew School chewing classes, speed-eating scholarships to Ivy League schools. World-famous eaters will sell elastic clothing on TV, and high-school varsity speed-eaters will sport letter jackets and date competitive-eating cheerleaders. Gyms will offer stomach-stretching classes, and all-you-can-eat buffets will become the places to see and be seen. That world may be far in the future. But until then, there’s always the IFOCE. –Miriam Felton-Dansky Leveling the Praying Field You don’t have to know Hebrew to go on birthright israel. You don’t have to be Bar Mitzvahed. You don’t even have to separate your cheese from your burger. But, young Israel advocates, there is one requirement you have to meet for birthright: to get an all-expenses-paid trip to Israel, you have to be Jewish. Until now. Luckily, the tables are turning for one group of underserved Zionists: fundamentalist Christian youth. This year, evangelical Christian Robert Stearn–founder of the New York-based Eagles Wings Ministry–decided young Christians, too, deserve a free trip to Israel. And rightly so. Why should accepting Jesus as their personal savior deny anyone the right to explore Christianity’s Jewish roots, connect with Israeli culture, and bring home a kickass hookah? Accordingly, this summer Stearn launched the first three-week Israel Experience College Scholarship Program for youth of the evangelical Christian persuasion, a program nicknamed the Christian birthright israel. During their twenty-one days in the Holy Land, according to the program’s web site, these evangelical college students “will stay on kibbutzim, travel the land, be lectured by the best representatives of the Israeli society, meet Christian leaders living in the Land, and interact with young Israeli Zionist students their age.” The inaugural trip kicked off in July, with just under a dozen student participants who ranged from George Washington University undergraduates to Pepperdine law students. While the group, citing safety concerns, did not go into the West Bank or the Gaza Strip, they did have the opportunity to discuss current events with Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom. And the Christian youth found time for lessons in Israeli history and politics as well, paying visits to Yad Vashem, an IDF air force base, and the settlement of Efrat. And like a true birthright trip, the fun doesn’t stop when the trip is over: these Christian youth are expected to become active in Israel advocacy on their campuses this fall. Within a few years, Stearn says, he hopes to attract hundreds of young evangelicals “to be voices for ‘Zion’s sake.’” Thank heaven that free trips to Israel are no longer just for Jews. New Voices deplores that sort of exclusivity in the strongest terms possible, and as soon as we finish up these articles written by and for Jewish college students, we’ll be making our feelings known. –Roz Plotzker Sex and the Sinai There wasn’t much that actor Chris Noth could do to top his performance as Mr. Big in Sex and the City. So he did what any self-respecting TV star would: began hocking Israeli women’s underarm products. Noth–who will always be remembered as Carrie Bradshaw’s emotionally-unavailable bashert–paid a 10-day visit to the holy land this summer, where he shot the commercial debut of a new line of Careline deoderants. According to Ha’Aretz, the innovative antiperspirant will be launched using the slogan “Big Idea.” And Mr. Big’s Israel experience didn’t stop there: a first-timer in the land of milk and honey, the American heartthrob paid visits to the Dead Sea, Masada, and the Kotel. After only one visit, Noth has become Israel’s unofficial ambassador of tourism. He reportedly even went so far as to say that he was “happy to let the public know that everyone should come here.” –Miriam Felton-Dansky
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