Sex and the Talmud Print E-mail
Written by Anna Dolinsky   

Interpretation is a must, says Yale University's sex columnist Natalie Krinsky
Natalie Krinsky is college's answer to Dr. Ruth. A junior at Yale University, she writes a weekend column in the Yale Daily News, "Sex in the Elm City," in which she bravely tackles such intimate issues as STDs, drunken hook-ups, and repressed Ivy Leaguers. Though she plans to retire her column at the end of the year, Krinsky is hoping to publish a book of her sex advice before graduation.

Reactions to Krinsky’s frank views on sexual matters are mixed. For example, after "Spit or Swallow?" (12/7/01) appeared, critical mail flooded the Daily News. "I have had people tell me that God will punish me for what I write, or that I’ve set the women’s movement back by a hundred years," she says. "But some tell me that I’ve improved their sex life or relationship by opening up dialogue and that is the most gratifying compliment I can get."

Krinsky, whose parents are Israeli, grew up in Canada. And while she sees Judaism as, "more of a cultural connection than necessarily a religious one," Krinsky is all for dating Jewish men.



New Voices: The Torah describes sex (within the confines of marriage) as a blessing and even a mitzvah—a commandment from God. So if all these Jews are supposed to be having this great sex, how come most of us are so neurotic?
Natalie Krinsky: Most of us are so neurotic because of the pressure to have great sex… We are the chosen people—we have to live up to a great many expectations. And now they want us to be good in the sack? Oy gevalt.

NV: What’s the verdict on circumcision? Does it fall short of the mark?
NK: Let’s just say that I think Jews are pretty optimistic. We cut it before we know how long it’s going to be. That’s gotta count for something, right?

NV: There is a controversy raging among Jewish scholars about oral sex. Sh’chatat zerah (destruction of seed, that is, ejaculation outside the vagina) is prohibited but outside of that everything else is basically permissible. As one passage in the Talmud states, "a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife." (Nedarim 20b). How do you get around the prohibition of spilling the seed? Do you have any suggestions?
NK: I will probably be hit with a great amount of criticism for this answer, but I believe that the Talmud must not necessarily be taken word for word and applied to today’s society. Interpretation is a must (as is oral sex for that matter)… If pleasure is valuable to you, and if exploring your partner’s body is also valuable then spilling seed is worth it; if not, then, well, you’ll have enough seed for a great many rose gardens.

NV: Jewish law prohibits masturbation since it spills the seed in vain. The Talmud prescribes that "in the case of a man, the hand that reaches below the navel should be chopped off." (Niddah 13a) Your thoughts?
NK: Masturbation is definitely a very healthy activity… In reality, it probably improves sexual relations, as one is able to discover what works and convey this to one’s partner. So masturbation is not, (at least in my humble opinion), "spilling the seed in vain." Masturbation should be looked at as an investment—spilling a little today will make it all worthwhile tomorrow. In the case of masturbation, a penny saved is not a penny earned.

NV: According to the Talmud, sexual relations should be experienced in a time of joy... for example, a couple may not have sex while drunk or quarreling. What effect does this have on a) the college hook-up scene and b) make-up sex?
NK: The Talmud nixes out a lot of good stuff. But in all seriousness, the truth is that neither of these options—drunk sex or make-up sex—is that healthy. When one’s judgement is skewed, whether it be by drugs or by emotions, putting oneself in the most vulnerable position possible, both physically and emotionally, is borderline insane. But what if you’re drunk and angry? Does the double negative make it ok?

NV: What do you think is the most Jewish sexual position?
NK: Anything goes—as long as it was debated for at least half an hour.
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Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.


Anna Dolinsky
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