5 Jewish Facebook Spaces For All Your Procrastinating Needs

Sure, it may be summer now, but fall semester is coming quicker than you know it. And when it does come, you’re going to need ways to procrastinate your midterms, projects, and more.

Thankfully, New Voices has you covered with five Jewish Facebook spaces to enhance your procrastinating experience. Whether you’re into arguing with fellow Jews on the internet or prefer to bond over memes, you can find corners of social media to delay the Jewish way.

1. Israel’s Dank Meme Stash

 

Memes are undoubtedly a staple of the procrastinating college student. But why not kick it up a notch with this abundant source of (often campus-focused) Israel memes?

You can spend hours looking at white bubble letters superimposed over pictures of Herzl, jokes about Birthright and AIPAC conferences, and general Jewish campus sass.

You’re bound to find memes that get you, entertain you, offend you, or simply inspire a “WTF.”

2. Sit On Us

 

Jewish students have a love/hate relationship with StandWithUs. Some love ‘em because they’re an outside organization that pays for campus Israel programming, and some hate ‘em… because they’re an outside organization that pays for campus Israel programming.

Whether you find StandWithUs handy or want them to stand somewhere else, you gotta laugh at our campus community politics to not go insane. Sit On Us is here to help.

As you can guess, Sit On Us is a satire page of StandWithUs. It’s chalk full of fake PSA’s about Israel and the media, all-caps flurries, and ridiculous pro-Israel talking points that don’t exist in nature.

A personal favorite: “YOU CAN’T SPELL ‘BAHAMAS’ WITHOUT ‘HAMAS.’ DEMAND ANSWERS!”

3. God Save Us From Your Opinion

[Public Domain], via Pixabay

 

If you’re looking for a place on the internet to end up in long, complicated discussions of Jewish theology, this group is it.

It’s a serious space for the spiritual (or information) seeker with a group credo of “DON’T BE A JERK.” Otherwise, you’re free to ask away: Can Orthodox Jews be atheist? Is commercializing religion wrong? What does being “chosen” mean? Can you argue wearing leather is unkosher?

So long as you’re a mensch, everything is up a for debate – or a lengthy online debate thread.

4. Halakhot You’ve Never Heard of Because They’re False

 

This page admittedly requires a nerdy level of Jewish religious knowledge, but if you know something about Jewish law, you’ll probably laugh.

“Halakhot You’ve Never Heard of Because They’re False” contains post upon post of Jewish laws that just aren’t true – but are only slightly more crazy-sounding than some of our actual laws.

Some examples:

“If there is no chocolate fondue fountain at the party, then the child never becomes a bar mitzvah.”

Tosfos (a famous Torah commentator) didn’t “freestyle on shabbat, to make sure he didn’t accidentally create straight fire.”

“Pythagorean Theorem is kefirah [heresy] because Haman’s hat was a right angled triangle.”

5. Sounds Goyish But Ok

 

It’s hard to really describe this group or what it does, but you’ll be glad you joined. And, most importantly, you’ll waste many valuable study hours browsing through it.

“Sounds Goyish But Ok” is a catch-all place for left-leaning young Jews to crack up over/complain about/discuss things you just gotta be Jewish to understand – and the funny stories that result when beloved goyim in your life don’t quite get it. You’ll find articles, questions, and rants about Jewish culture, ranging from quirky to heartfelt.

This group is basically a pluralistic online playground, and whatever your shtick, you’re bound to feel like you’re among peers.

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