11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Pay Retail

Nothing makes me feel more like a Jew than going shopping with my mother.

Maybe I should rephrase that to sound less self-hating. No, I mean it. I mean it as a positive statement. A point of pride. My Jewish/New Yorker/American ancestors did not get where they are today buy paying retail price. I mean that. It is as much a survival technique as God sending plagues upon Egypt. Only not paying retail is better for the economy.

I know some Jews who walk into the mall without coupons, rewards cards, receipts from previous purchases (to get money back for marked down items), or store credit cards. Didn’t everyone else have to swear on the Torah that they shall never pay retail? That was a Kodak moment at my Bar Mitzvah. I think to myself, “How could these people spit on the memory of Jews before them?”

Maybe they’re just too stupid to know that they could be getting at least 20% off their entire purchase. There’s a point where not paying retail stops being Jewish and just starts being common sense. If I see a shirt in the Gap priced at $59.99 I know for a fact that it will be on the sale rack in at least three weeks where it will be at least 20% off. If I wait, I also can use the 10% off coupon I will be getting in two weeks. If it is also 10% Tuesday I end up getting that same shirt for a lot less.

It must have something to do with instant gratification. True, sometimes you need something right away so it is harder to get a good price, but even then there are options. Gratification is why I think these retail Jews are tempted by a quick purchase.

I cannot recall specific scripture prohibiting this sort of instant gratification. It would seem that instant is a relative term. And here is why it is good to be a “cheap” Jew. If you have to buy school clothes for yourself, what is the best way to do it? Will you go out at the last minute unaware of any sales? Will you see what you need first? Will you check the quality of the clothes you’re buying?

All of these are common sense questions. However, some anti-semite decided to hate Jews based upon their ability to be thrifty with cash when facing department store prices. Whoever that was must have been jealous. Maybe they couldn’t figure out what 40% of $59.99 was. I have almost no ability to do math, but even I know that the final price is about $36.  I have some ability to do math, not because I’m Jewish, but because I’ll have to survive on my own one day with a limited budget. Knowing how to survive, even in the modern American sense, honors the Jewish tradition of survival.

So when you get your paycheck, keep in mind that every penny counts.

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