It was small stuff, but it bothered me.
At 3:45 PM, I was waiting for the bus, hoping I wouldn’t be late for work. It was Sunday afternoon, sunny out—I couldn’t find my ipod before I left my apartment so the wait was killing me. You know, playing tetris on my phone, texting people I don’t really talk to, trying to kill time.
the bus stop
Anyway I was sitting on the bench, and on the other side of the bench, there was this guy on a cell phone. Picture the Citizen from Ulysses, on some German American Bund status, blond football player look. He had on a green buttondown shirt with a pink tie, expensive shoes. He probably went from the frat house to his dad’s investment firm. You got the visual?
So he was on his phone, talking, I wasn’t trying to listen but he was loud and I didn’t have anything going on.
“Yeah, dad’s giving me less now, he says I have to pay for half on the condo…I know bro…just because I move up a tax bracket.”
At this point I was trying not to laugh, that this guy was complaining that his dad gave him less money ever since he “moved up a tax bracket”. We should all be so lucky. Then he dropped the bomb.
“Yeah, he’s jewing me.”
I jerked up, I couldn’t believe he said that. In public. My first thought was, jump him, let him know he can’t say that stuff about Jews, we aren’t skinny diaspora nebbishes anymore, but I couldn’t. Physically, and logistically. I had to get to work. So I started thinking about what I could say.
“Hey man, you’re going to hell.” Too apocalyptic.
“You’re a bad person.” On point but weak.
“You spoiled, rich, racist, pathetic” Getting there.
But I didn’t say anything. Why bother? He’d just say something nasty back and laugh. He knew he was a jerk, but he had a rich dad. Nothing I could say would change that. He’d still be privileged, and I’d still be waiting for the bus. I should have said something, he crossed several lines, how could I let strangers say antisemitic crap and not call them on it? I’d feel better if I said something, there’s so much I could say. But I didn’t say anything.
So there I was, waiting for the bus, staring at my feet, feeling like a minority. A minute or two later he walked away. I tried not to trip. It was just one thing. But then I started thinking, about the BDS posters at the felafel place, about the time the guy at the corner store said “you must have a lot of money” when I was dressed as a Chassid for halloween, about how there were three churches, four halal restaurants, and no kosher places in my neighborhood. And now this. It was a little thing, but it bothered me.
When was the last time you experienced antisemitism? What did you do?
PS: I’m pleased to announce that over the summer I will be blogging for HipsterJew. Big ups to those hipster jews.
Antisemitism????
BDS is not anti-semitic – nothing against Jews, but a lot against bad policies.
That jerk you overheard – do you think he is HATE Jews? is he AGAINST Jews? I dont know him and cant judge, but let’s not turn every idiotic remark into anti semitism.
What about ‘Jewish Jokes’? Well, I think they are mainly told by Jews. Is that ‘Kosher’ because we can stereotype ourselves or just not antisemitic altogether?
There is really no (or very very little) REAL anti semitism in the US. some clown groups like the Westboro Baptist Church are mostly funny rather than offending. I suspect there are more displays of hate, bias and hostility toward our fellow Semites Muslim-American
What IS the most antisemitic country in the world? read this:
http://rottenjewishapple.blogspot.com/2011/04/worlds-most-anti-semetic-place.html
I’m not really going to engage on this, but BDS is antisemitic, and that blog you linked to is antisemitic.
All it could have taken for you to do is say, “Count your blessings (or whatever your culture uses as positive tokens), or even just say, “wow jewed? kinda fucked up man.” either way, a little voice to plant in the next person the way he planted in yours can not only bring awareness to him of how ignorant he sounded, but to not sit back if you feel so bad. I am just learning about all this anti-semitism and such, but i suggest you engage in pheldermaus’ comments. Not only are you still holding back from the spoiled, racist brat, but you are holding back to the dialogue from people who are trying to understand what you are trying to say. Discussion is healthy. It helps the world go ’round. However, very well put article & i look forward to more. Thanks for calling me that day. I got the raw emotions first hand. I’ll call you the next time i experience anti-respect-for-the-next-person & tell you what I did about it. take tips & speak up! One Love & Mosotov!!!
@ Max
What is your definition of anti-semitism? I dont mean a cut-and-past line from some dictionary, but your personal intuitive definition of it. Maybe im missing something, but in your blog you ‘package’ together an overheard remark, political poster and absence of synagogues all as ‘anti-semitic’ displays. So what is anti semitism for you?
do you really think my blog is a display of anti semitism (report me to the ADL!) or you were upset and emotional when writing it?
I just think were using the same language to describe categorically different phenomenas.
blog link: http://rottenjewishapple.blogspot.com/
That’s happened to me a number of times. Most of the time the language is because of ignorance, and while i can’t say when is and isn’t a good situation for you to say something in, because that’s personal and highly dependent on what the circumstances are, i always try to say, “Could you use another word please.”
You can follow up with “I know you don’t mean anything bad by it, but i find that rather offensive” or anything to that effect. the point is to ask them to use different language.
But it’s both harder and easier to say this with perfect strangers than friends, or vice versa.
and @pheldermaus
whatever injustice you may feel has been done to muslim americans is not acceptable, but neither is discrimination or offensive comments to any other cultural group.
And for the record, the Westboro baptist church means what they say. You would do well to take them seriously. or perhaps you too see nothing wrong in calling another cultural group “funny”?
I like: “wow, Jewed; man, that’s fucked up”. The thing is, anyone who hasn’t experienced something like this needs to know that it still happens. And probably needs to get out more. I didn’t grow up in a Jewish neighborhood and, especially since I don’t “look” Jewish, I have been privy to all kinds of this crap.
Since you can’t hope to educate people if you humilate them, Someone tells a joke about cheap Jews? I gently say, “Gee? Do you think I’m cheap? Because, you know, I’m Jewish.” Most of the time this leads to a decent conversation in which I work to be Very Nice and Nonthreatening.