I’ll Have a Plate of Right Wings and a Side of Fries

Right Wings“Jenna, your paper is dynamite!”

“Thanks, Mom!” I shout into the receiver. “Wait. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Uh…both I guess.”

“Why is that?”

Silence, and then, “Your ideas are pretty controversial.”

“How so?”

“Well, uh…”

“Mom!!!”

Audible sigh. “I…uh…you…you sound kind of…er…conservative.”

I take a deep breath. “In what way?”

“Well, keep it up, and maybe Rush Limbaugh will have you as a guest on his show.”

And so begins today’s existential crisis. Am I, Jenna Cohen, Reform Jew, Democrat, tree-hugger, and liberal arts student, capable of right wingedness? In terms of Israel, it would appear so. In contrast with a lot of the people at my synagogue back home, and with quite a few people on my campus, I believe the land of Israel belongs solely to Israelis. I empathize with the Palestinians, but like a kid with a bag of gummy bears, I am unwilling to share. I don’t like the idea of relinquishing portions of the Jewish State to make peace.

But I had NO idea that I felt this way until, oh, twelve hours ago, when I was writing an essay for my freshman seminar. The essay was about connecting a film on Native Americans losing their sacred locations to something in our own lives. The first thing I thought of was Israel’s fight for existence. Apparently, according to the fiery paper I wrote, I feel very passionately about Israel’s right to be a Jewish state. I never knew that I felt that way. This morning, I tested myself to see if I still harbored such opinions. To accomplish this, I had a friendly debate with some of the people who live on my floor. My logic was that, maybe, writing a paper in the early hours of the morning had distorted my usual laissez-faire judgment. To my surprise, during our debate, I never swayed from the stance I held the night before.

It’s nice to know that, as early as my third week of college, I have formed a solid opinion to standby. I didn’t anticipate that my sentiments would be so conservative, but it’s kind of fun to have a little republican inside to keep me balanced. But, unfortunately for Rush, I am busy this weekend; he’ll just have to find someone else.

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