worlds_strictest_parents-430x250
Congratulations, Judaism! Reality TV has chosen you to teach the most spoiled, hostile, and disrespectful teenagers a lesson. According to a recent article in Haaretz, BBC’s “The World’s Strictest Parents” recently filmed an episode in the Orthodox-only Israeli village of Nof Ayalon to see whether two teenage high school dropouts, Jack Travers and Gemma Lyons, aged 17 and 16, respectively from Hampshire, England would benefit from a week with the Shakeds, an Orthodox Jewish family.

Now, this much is fascinating: It’s clear that the “outside world” found some value in the Jewish religion, and that’s great—it never hurts to have allies in this “outside world,” many of whose residents often deem Judaism the source of all their problems. But while these “outsiders” vouch for us, place their troubled teens among us, and invite everyone to take a look inside as we espouse our alleged healing powers unto them, I’m wondering what kind of impression a community such as this can make on kids such as Lyons and Travers.

First glance at such an Orthodox-only village reveals a very noticeable element of Judaism: tzniut, or modesty laws. Just by looking, one can easily deduce that this is a religion that cares about looks. (And kind of overzealously conservative ones at that.) Perhaps after thinking for a moment, one will realize that a strict dress code carries some more important values: Discipline. Modesty. Sanctifying the human body and its miraculous capabilities. Appreciating that a healthy body is a gift. But Haaretz tells us that Gemma Lyons didn’t appear to have grasped those factors:

The Israel episode produced a stormier clash than any that had occurred in the previous two seasons of the show–other host families have included Alabama Christians and Indian Hindus. Lyons was infuriated by the modesty expectations and flouted them by donning her bikini. The family threw her out of the house, and producers had to take her to a hotel—something that has never happened on the program in the past. “It was a massive deal,” director Colin Rothbart told the Forward. After a day and a half, she apologized and was allowed back in.

The Shakeds forced the two teens to alter their style of dress during their tenure in Israel. They also enforced certain laws of negiah, another seemingly fanatical undertaking of Orthodox Jewish culture. Like tzniut, negiah has palpable merits, but it seems totally abnormal—and maybe even outrageous—to the rest of today’s society. The two teens also observed laws of Shabbat, another bizarre aspect of the Jewish religion on the surface. While keeping Shabbat has much to offer for mind, body, and soul, leaping into it with the approach that it’s purely a matter of “discipline” is dangerous.

While I respect the Shakeds for opening their home and allowing the world to see the goodness in the Jewish religion, I think that in situations like this we promote the wrong parts of Judaism to people meeting it for the first time. “Outsiders” looking “in” will behold many sights different from what they’re used to—but Judaism isn’t all about the sights. Don’t the mantras “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” and “He who is rich is happy with what he has” stem from Judaism, too? Aren’t these values worthy of passing onto onlookers? Jews do have a method behind their madness, but without espousing these wonderful methods, it all just looks like madness.

There’s no way one week on a TV show that clearly intends to dramatize more right-wing Jewish culture—and provide examples of “devotees to authority,” as the article calls the Shaked family—can accurately reflect the essence of Judaism. And when faced with the challenge of explaining generations upon generations’ worth of tradition, wisdom, and love to someone with no knowledge base, it must be a lot more complicated than it looks. But this very challenge presented by reality TV makes some interesting food for thought—given the opportunity, what would you if you had a week to show the outside world what Judaism is?

Two unruly British teenagers lived with an Orthodox family in Israel, as part of the BBC-TV show ‘The World’s Strictest Parents.’ Courtesy of TwentyTwenty Television/The Jewish Daily Forward.
Two unruly British teenagers lived with an Orthodox family in Israel, as part of the BBC-TV show ‘The World’s Strictest Parents.’ Courtesy of TwentyTwenty Television/The Jewish Daily Forward.

Get New Voices in Your Inbox!